Polcz Alaine, ha lehet ezt \u00edrni, \u00e9let\u00e9nek nagy r\u00e9sz\u00e9t a hal\u00e1llal t\u00f6lt\u00f6tte: pszichol\u00f3gusk\u00e9nt kutatta a gy\u00e1szt, vagy, ahogy Freud nevezte: a gy\u00e1szmunk\u00e1t. T\u00f6bb mint \u00f6tven \u00e9vig foglalkozott haldokl\u00f3 gyerekekkel \u00e9s feln\u0151ttekkel, \u00e9s k\u00f6zben hitt abban, hogy otthon kell elb\u00facs\u00fazni a f\u00f6ldi vil\u00e1gt\u00f3l, ez\u00e9rt mindent megtett az\u00e9rt, hogy a gyerekek is hazaker\u00fclhessenek, \u00e9s otthonukban, sz\u00fcleik \u00e9s j\u00e1t\u00e9kaik k\u00f6z\u00f6tt lehessenek az utols\u00f3 napokban. 1991-ben ind\u00edtotta \u00fatj\u00e1ra a gy\u00f3gy\u00edthatatlan betegek emberhez m\u00e9lt\u00f3 hal\u00e1l\u00e1t t\u00e1mogat\u00f3 Magyar Hospice Alap\u00edtv\u00e1nyt.<\/p>\n
\nElfogadni tudni a m\u00e1sik hal\u00e1l\u00e1t annyit jelent, mint elfogadni egy \u2018soha viszont nem l\u00e1t\u00e1st\u2019, egy hang \u00e9s gyeng\u00e9ds\u00e9g, esetleg gy\u0171l\u00f6let megsz\u0171nt\u00e9t, melyek hordoz\u00f3i voltak a kapcsolatnak, belenyugodni a k\u00f6z\u00f6sen elk\u00e9pzelt j\u00f6v\u0151 sz\u00e9tfoszl\u00e1s\u00e1ba, az \u00f6r\u00f6k\u00f6s \u00e9s v\u00e9gleges hi\u00e1nyba.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
A hal\u00e1lr\u00f3l \u00e9s a gy\u00e1szr\u00f3l sz\u00e1mos k\u00f6nyvet \u00edrt, a Gy\u00e1szban lenni c\u00edm\u0171ben kor\u00e1bban m\u00e1r megjelent tanulm\u00e1nyait gy\u0171jt\u00f6tte \u00f6ssze. Hal\u00e1l n\u00e9lk\u00fcl nincs \u00e9let, mondj\u00e1k sokan, gy\u00e1sz n\u00e9lk\u00fcl pedig nem lehet folytatni az \u00e9letet, ha valaki meghal, mondja Polcz Alaine. A tanulm\u00e1nyk\u00f6tet foglalkozik azzal, szabad-e hazudnunk vagy elhallgatnunk a hal\u00e1lt a kisgyermek el\u0151tt, ha annak valamilyen rokona meghal, azzal a c\u00edmsz\u00f3val, hogy \u0151 ezt m\u00e9g \u00fagysem \u00e9rheti, \u00e9s mihez vezet az, ha nem hagyjuk, hogy \u0151 is, a maga m\u00f3dja kis\u00edrja mag\u00e1b\u00f3l a b\u00e1nat\u00e1t. Sz\u00f3t ejt arr\u00f3l, milyen fontos is lenne az eml\u00e9kek tov\u00e1bbad\u00e1sa a gyermekeknek, ez\u00e1ltal a gy\u00f6k\u00e9rtelens\u00e9g \u00e9rz\u00e9s\u00e9nek elker\u00fcl\u00e9se, hogy tudjanak \u0151k is arr\u00f3l, kik voltak ak\u00e1r m\u00e1r halott nagysz\u00fcleik, d\u00e9dsz\u00fcleik, hogy n\u00e9ztek ki, mit \u00e9s kit szerettek, mit csin\u00e1ltak.<\/p>\n
\u00cdr benne arr\u00f3l, hogy eg\u00e9szen a 20. sz\u00e1zad k\u00f6zep\u00e9ig m\u00e9g \u00e9ltek azok a n\u00e9pszok\u00e1sok, amelyekkel seg\u00edtett\u00e9k ezt a gy\u00e1szmunk\u00e1t a k\u00f6z\u00f6ss\u00e9gek tagjai, de mik\u00f6zben elvesztek a k\u00f6z\u00f6ss\u00e9gek, \u00e9s felgyorsult a vil\u00e1g, h\u00e1tt\u00e9rbe szorultak ezek a technik\u00e1k. Ne s\u00edrj, majd az id\u0151 megoldja, hangzik a legt\u00f6bb tan\u00e1cs, pedig az id\u0151 nem old meg semmit, a gy\u00e1szol\u00f3nak nem szabad elfojtania mag\u00e1ban az \u0171rt, amit h\u00e1trahagyott az, aki elment, mert minden elfojt\u00e1s testi-lelki betegs\u00e9ghez vezethet. Polcz Alaine k\u00fcl\u00f6nb\u00f6z\u0151 technik\u00e1kat mutat be, amellyel a 21. sz\u00e1zadi ember is meg\u00e9lheti, ki\u00e9lheti gy\u00e1sz\u00e1t. K\u00f6telez\u0151 k\u00f6nyv mindenkinek, aki m\u00e1r elvesztett valakit, \u00e9s \u00fagy \u00e9rzi, nem tud egyed\u00fcl mit kezdeni a f\u00e1jdalommal.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Aki m\u00e1r vesztette el k\u00f6zeli hozz\u00e1tartoz\u00f3j\u00e1t, az tudja, van egy k\u00fcl\u00f6n\u00f6s, sz\u00edvszor\u00edt\u00f3 id\u0151sz\u00e1m\u00edt\u00e1s is, amir\u0151l a nagy k\u00f6nyvek \u00e1ltal\u00e1ban nem \u00edrnak: az id\u0151 szeretteinkkel \u00e9s az id\u0151 n\u00e9lk\u00fcl\u00fck, hal\u00e1luk ut\u00e1n. Ebben az id\u0151ben fontos szerepet kellene, hogy kapjon a gy\u00e1sz is, amire azonban manaps\u00e1g m\u00e1r sem id\u0151nk nincs, se technik\u00e1nk nincsen. Polcz Alaine Gy\u00e1szban lenni c\u00edm\u0171 k\u00f6nyve ebben seg\u00edthet.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"cikk_cimkek":[24],"content_flags":[350,349],"content_icons":[],"class_list":["post-261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-erdmost","cikk_cimkek-magazin","content_flags-erdekes","content_flags-fontos"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"cikk_cimkek","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cikk_cimkek?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"content_flags","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/content_flags?post=261"},{"taxonomy":"content_icons","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erdmost.hu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/content_icons?post=261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}